i read a blog called "momastery" ~ i love it, i love her words, i love her heart, i love the way she says what i feel in my heart and soul as a mom, a woman, a wife, a person who walks through this life trying to figure it out one day at a time.  i have always thought that i could articulate what i was thinking or feeling, fairly well through writing, much more so than through spoken words.  but, if i can articulate well, she is a master of the written word.  i believe it comes from being in touch with your feelings and not being embarrassed or ashamed to say what is in your heart; right or wrong it is how you feel ~ none of us is perfect and we try so hard, day in and day out, to project to the world that life is good, that we have control over our issues, that we are not walking with all of our human baggage trying to figure out what our significance in this life really is. 

today is december 26 ~ the day after christmas ~ and i cannot tell you how glad i was to see christmas come and go this year, actually, over the past several years.  i am so tired of the commercialism and materialism attached to christmas, it losses it's meaning for me the closer it gets to the actual day of christmas.  i would be satisfied with no tree, no gifts, and a quiet, candlelit, midnight mass or service to remember what the day actually is about.  the birth of Jesus Christ ~ the savior of the world.  i went to bed last night crying, worrying that i am failing as a parent because as much as i try to remind my children the reason for christmas i know that i am not doing enough.  i get caught up in the gift giving; wanting my children to have exactly what they want, what is on their santa list.  i want them to have happiness, but i am worried that i, now,  have become one of those parents who is teaching their children that happiness comes in a box from a store ~ and not teaching them that it comes from your heart, to one another, through acts of kindness and selflessness.  i need to work on changing this, and i think this every year.  i need to work on reinforcing that happiness is something that we share together as a family ~ that it does not come from a store.  that giving and not expecting something in return is the best gift that can be given.  that Jesus is the reason we celebrate and for no other reason ~ because without Him, there is no life. 
i was texting my cousin today and complaining about the commercialism of christmas.  she said she had the same conversation with her priest and he reminded her that the secular world celebrates christmas on the 25th, but as christians we know that christmas is not a day, it is a season, celebrated for many weeks and we have to hold onto that truth. 

celebrate the season that is christmas and remember the true reason for this wonderful celebration ~ that we are saved, through grace, by a God who loves us so unimaginably that He sent His son to be the Savior of the World; because He knew we couldn't do it ~ we are only human.