forgetting

i am in a place in my life right now where i am being asked to forget ~ forget that the past 2 years of my life happened ~ say good-bye to a person who has made such an impact on my life that without knowing them i am not sure where i would be right now. how do you forget a person once they have made such an impression on your heart ~ in your life? grieve it and move on ~ that is the advice i have been given. it is not as easy as it sounds ~ grieving that relationship ~ letting it go ~ it is like losing a part of myself; a really good part of myself ~ maybe the best part of me.

i am sure it will happen slowly and over time i won't feel so lost or hurt. the emptiness that letting go leaves behind is unbearable sometimes. i have been empty ~ i do not want to go back there ~ it is lonely ~ it is an existence ~ it is not really living. it will be difficult to go back to empty. i will work on it. i just know that the next few months are going to be difficult. it is a place i never imagined i would ever be ~ i guess that makes it even more painful.

i have this love for brian andreas, he is an artist and has some of the best quotes i know!! some of them mean so much to me because i feel like they describe me or my life as it is at this point in time. there is one that describes what i am going through and i read it over and over and over ~ someday i will share it!!