let's make a deal.....

take a deep breath in and a deep breath out, again, again, again....... lightheaded but having to face the truth ~ i have to do something this weekend that only those who really know me know how much i dread when it comes around ~ the weekend at the inlaws... ( i hear scary theme music in the background as i am writing ! )


yes, it is true ~ i would rather suffer from a 48 hour migraine than visit my inlaws ~ and i have been visiting them for 17 years now, you would think the anxiety brought on by the thought of these visits would have subsided. maybe it has changed from anxiety to just plain indifference. i just do not want to go. it isn't that my inlaws are bad people, or messy, or loud, or odd ~ it is just that i have nothing in common with them. let's face it, they are my grandparents' ages ( that is if i had any grandparents that were still living God bless their wonderful souls). actually i will take that back, i suppose i do have 4 things in common with them ~ my husband and my three children ~ after that ~ nope ~ not a thing.




my inlaws live approximately four hours from where we live and so 3 or 4 times a year we pack up everything but the kitchen sink because with 3 children that is just how it works. we make sure the vehicle dvd players are both working properly and that there are movies appropriate for each child ages 5, 6, and 12. we make sure everyone has made one last bathroom stop and we hop in the car and go. not exactly vacation a la chevy chase ~ but you get the picture.


and, i must admit, now that infant and toddler car seats are no longer in the picture it is a little bit better ~ until one of them says "mom, he's leaning on me" or "mom will you tell her to stop looking at me" or one of another hundred phrases that every parent has heard along the way when everyone piles in the car for a trip.



really ~ the trip is painless compared to what it is like when we arrive. you see, my husband is an only child which makes our 3 children their only grandchildren ~ for ever and ever ~ amen. it kills me what they do for our kids ~ goofy silly stuff and i just want to say "STOP! STOP GIVING MY KIDS STUPID JUNK THAT THEY DON'T NEED FROM THE DOWNTOWN DIME STORE."



but, i bite my tongue and look for the wine, grab my book, and find a nice quiet corner to plant myself in for the next 48 hours. there won't be any meals "in" because, of course, they are at the age when they eat out for every meal. and it is always the same places every visit ~ nothing changes, it is like a time warp and everytime we get there it is like we never left ~ it all stays the same. even their house and the furniture ~ nothing ever gets rearranged or nothing new is ever brought in. and yes, i am sure you are wondering, yes it does look like a page out of a vintage 1970's House Beautiful ~ you know with panelled walls and a very large baby grand piano in a room that is too small with green shag carpet. like i said, it is a time warp ~ it makes me want to break out my platform shoes and grab my husband's polyester leisure suit and put on Saturday Night Fever !!


as people go, they are fine, but i am sure that if it were not for the fact that they are my inlaws they are not the type of people that i would gravitate toward to get to know better. we are just very different and the longer i am married the more evident it becomes and the more i am just at the point where i want to look at my husband and say ~" i am not going this time. your parents want to see you and the kids not me, and to be quite honest with you, i am ok with that." i think that in every marriage there comes a time when that is ok to say and you and your spouse should figure out how to be ok with that decision and know that it isn't done to hurt someone's feelings it is just the way it is.



however, instead of saying that to my husband i will use this trip as leverage ~ and make a deal with him ~ you see ~ there is this great trip i am planning on taking with my girlfriends in november so the more i think about it the more i am willing to suffer this weekend so that i get the all clear when it is time for me to head south on my girlfriend getaway. aaaahhhhhhh (sigh) i can almost taste those yummy pomegranate martinis now ~ go ahead, make mine a double, i need it !!